It has been a difficult start to the week, some successes, some rejection, missing family and friends, tough decisions and the realization that when you move to a new place and start a new life a lot of the time you are still tied to your old life. By this I mean, this morning while writing my morning pages trying to make sense of what is going on in my life I realized that I have been holding on to my old life and not fully recognising the opportunities that lay right in front of me.
A part of me, a big part, is still holding on to my life in Whistler and romanticizing how wonderful it was. It was in many ways. I had wiped out the thoughts and reasoning behind why we moved away from the place I still called home, until today. In actual fact a part of me never really felt like I was a part of the Big Machine. At times it was such a fight to be part of that infectious energy. Maybe I was trying to be something that I wasn't. Being a part of Whistler in my opinion is like taking heroin, it is super high one day and feeling the love and then there are the low, really low spots. I have never experienced heroin and it's affects, so really what do I know. I can only imagine. I suppose that is life. My point is I find it interesting that we hold on to what we know and our mind plays tricks on us. It goes to the safety zone without us even realizing it. Even if it is not safe. I have had rejection in Whistler with regards to my art career and it hurts because I feel still so loyal to her and as I deal with this emotion I am blinded of what is in front of me. I have amazing opportunities in front of me, right now, that I SEE and will pursue with vigor.
I also have realized that I have not fully committed to living in Kimberley, my feet have been one in Kimbo and the other, where to next, back to Whistler, hardly fair. When I look back I have always been like this. So it is time to see what is in front of me, a plethora of choices, excellent opportunities, stay positive, enjoy the journey and reap the rewards. I have reunited with a friend from the past that is on a similar journey and she reminded the world in her blog to keep your thoughts pure as your thoughts will manifest in your life. These words are front and center for me even though I have to constantly remind myself. This morning has been all about moving past rejection, recognizing the opportunity that lay at my feet, pick it up and grow with it.
I will always have a tumultuous love affair with Whistler and Pemberton but I want to and need to fall in love with the beautiful place I now call home. It to has it's own magic and incredible beauty and I am sure it has hold of my heart in ways I don't yet recognize.
Have a wonderful day full of possibilities!
1 comment:
Moving to a new home in a new place is always difficult. I have done it many times and each time, leave behind friends and wonderful memories. Morning pages help to reflect back on the times within that once home and all the memories, but think about how dull they could possibly become without new adventure. The friends that you made in your last home will slowly weed down to your true friends, the ones that you may not talk to for 3 months and pick up the phone and talk as if you had never been apart. Life is only what you make of it and it sounds like your are well on your way to making a wonderful life in Kimberly with Jason and your love of painting.... Continue to create memories and live big dreams...love ya!!
Post a Comment